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120 Opera titles that never made it

Here's an article for the opera devotee. Opera composers are busy people, but sometimes they don't get the title quite right the first time.

Here's a list of 120 opera titles that didn't make it past the dress-rehearsal:

Bizet: Vanmen

Bizet (again): Les pecheurs de prawns

Monteverdi: L'Incontinenzione di Poppea

Handel: Dynorodelinda

Handel: Semoline

Gluck: Inceste

Mozart: Mitridate, re di Pontypridd

Mozart: Il bartender di Siviglia

Mozart: Die Zauberbanjo

Beethoven: Infidelio

Spontini: La Vest (string)

Rossini: FakeTancredi

Donizetti: Spag Bolena

Bellini: Norman

Wagner: The Flying Dutchcap

Verdi: Limpelio

Verdi: Rigomorto

Verdi: Un balloon in maschera

Wagner: Der meistercrooner von Nurnberg

Wagner: Das Rheintanzanite

Wagner: Die Shufflekure

Verdi: FirstAida

Mussorgsky: Boris Reasonablunov

Strauss: Die Fledersquirrel

Wagner: Damntheguttering

Saint-Saens: Samsung and the Lilo (the perfect opera for the beach)

Verdi: Simon Boccaafricanamerican

Delibes: Shishme

Massanet: Personon

Strauss: The person of no fixed abode baron.

Tchaikovsky: The Queen of AfricanAmericans

Verdi: Realstaff

Rimsky-Korsakov: Happyko

Debussy: Pelleas and his smelly sandals

Verdi: Madama Slug

Lehar: The Smeary Window

Delius: The Village Romeo and Julian

Dukas: Ariane et Barbe-ginger

Richard Strauss: Powercutta

Wolf-Ferrari: Ill secretion di Susanna

Rossini: Il Turdo in Italia

Puccini: La Fan Chiller del West End (air-conditioned theatres)

Richard Strauss: Der Pansykavalier

Richard Strauss: Ariadne auf Neasden

Bartok: Bluebeard's End Terrace (with off-street parking)

Richard Strauss: Die Frau ohne Scheisen

Massanet: Donkey Shot

Gershwin: Porky and Butch

Menotti: The XXL

Britten: Bertie Sprat

Menotti: The iPhone

Menotti: Amahl and the Night Visitors and the Social Worker and the Registered List

Verdi: Inani

Tchaikowsky: YouGin? OneGin!

Bellini: I Impuritani

Krenek: Jonny Spielt Banjo

Janacek: Katya KabtoBrixton

Rossini: La Donner Del Lager

Poulenc: La Voix Grenouillante

Catalani: Where's Wally?

Donizetti: Excretia Bogia

Wagner: Parsimonious

Bellini: Poliutio (a murky tale)

Richard Strauss: Salame

Rossini: Fullyramide

Walton: Sir John in Hove

Puccini: Candied Angelica

Sondheim: Onis Todd

Handel: Tamburino

Nyman: The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hag

Shostakovich: Snot

Stravinsky: The moving ho(e)

Britten: The Turn of the IKEA fitment

Mozart: Cozzie, fan, tutu (an opera about ballet)

Weber: Der Freiup

Verdi: I LombardDirecti (the loan arranger)

Verdi (really, it's too easy): Windy Miller

Mozart: Le Nose di Figaro (It's in for a long run)

Verdi: The Hilton Otello (a place to lay your head)

Verdi: The Sicilian Vespa (fast, economical and stylish)

Weill: The Rise and Fall of the City of MDF

Berlioz: Beatrice et Benedictine (the sorry tale of a love that tippled over into addiction)

Hindemith: Cardillac Arrest

Rossini: La Cenebuytoletola (following the demise of the rental market)

Britten: Deaf in Venice

Meyerbeer: What's that din (or Pardon My French)

Busoni: Trainee Nurse Faust (the doktor will be along shortly)

Prokofiev: The Duennythingforcash

Stravinsky: The Fire extinguisher Bird (Health and Safety)

Thomas: Cheese and Ham Omelette

Humperdinck: Hans Werner Henze und Gretel

Weill: Miserable End

Weill: The Seven Deadly Singers

Maxwell Davies: Eight Songs For A Mad Baritone

Ravel: Quinze minutes Espagnole (at time and a half)

Mozart: The UnimpressAria

Lalo: Le Roi D'Yfronts

Rimsky-Korsakov: KönigskinderSurprise (there's a hidden toy inside each one)

Reimann: Leer (a king with a roving eye)

Donizetti: Lendus di Chamouleather

Wagner: Longandgrim

Verdi: The Scottish Widow Play

Poulenc: Les Mammals de Tiresias (coming soon on ZooTV)

Donizetti:Maria's Too Hard (the stirring tale of a prizewinning Scottish female boxer)

Rossini: Mose is an Eedjit (a great tenor role)

Bellini: Abnorma (the subject of a Channel Five documentary)

Britten: Noye's Incontinence

Monteverdi: Orfullo

Dvorak: Rusalkaselzer

Wagner: Siegincarcerated

Richard Strauss: The Talking Woman (well, the Silent Woman is mythological...)

Walton: Sir John in't Loo

Bellini: Il Piranha (starring Marina Callous)

Massenet: Silk Thaiis

Puccini: Tosser

Verdi: La Travelscrabble

Wagner: Tristan and 'is older sister

Berg: Catsick

Sullivan: HMRC Pinafore (investigation pending)

and finally Puccini: PerDiem (Touring Dough)

About the Author

Jeremy Fisher trains singers and performers to find and maintain their best. He's the author of Successful Singing Auditions, and creator of the Voicebox Videos (featured on the BBC and broadcast to an estimated 44,000,000 people). Sign up for Jeremy's free newsletter containing original interviews, pre-release offers and receive your BONUS free copy of "86 things you never hear a singer say" at http://www.vocalprocess.co.uk

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