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Tiger Woods Jokes: The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

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Did you hear that Phil Mickelson called Elin Nordegren? He asked her for some guides on beating Tiger.

That is just 1 of numerous, numerous jokes making rounds within the aftermath of Tiger Woods' car crash and affair rumors. A few of the jokes are pretty good, other people are not pretty at all. Have you ever discovered how many golf game jokes involve comic-book violence toward a spouse? You will find plenty of those concerning Tiger and Elin, too:

The police asked Tiger's wife how numerous times she hit him. "I can't remember," Elin said, "just put me down for a 5."
Ping has a new set of irons known as Elins. They're golf clubs for sale you could beat Tiger with.

What does Tiger Woods have in common having a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Norwegian. (Of course, Elin is usually really Swedish. Nevertheless poetic license is usually authorized in jokes.)
There are jokes about the affair rumors:

Did you hear Tiger changed his name to Cheetah? Tiger's other ladies are not misstresses. They're provisionals. Did you hear Nike's new motto? Just do me.

What's the difference between Tiger Fairway Woods and Santa Clause? Santa stopped at 3 ho's. (That joke has been re-posted about 50 times in comments, therefore I think we may quit adding it anew to the comment thread.)

And jokes about Tiger's car crash started surfacing inside minutes of the initial reports of the accident, including these:

Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't determine between a wood and an iron, as titleist 2010 ap2 irons .

What's the difference between a car along with a the game of golf golf ball? Tiger can drive a golf golf ball 400 yards.

Tiger Fairways can be thus wealthy that he owns plenty of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.

Tiger has a new movie coming out. It is known as Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.

Most of the above come from amateur quipsters – folks like you and me. Yet the experts are having a field day with Tiger's troubles, too. For example:

Stephen Colbert: "Tiger always gives 110 percent. That is normally why he gave 100 percent to his wife and still had 10 percent left over for his alleged mistress."

Conan O'Brien: "One of the ladies who claims she slept with Tiger Fairway Woods says they never talked about golf clubs whilst having sex. However, contractually Tiger was obligated to speak about Nike, Gatorade and American Express."

Then there are the YouTube videos. Take a look at the slow-jam remix of Tiger's voicemail, or the Christmas song parody.

Heard other people Tiger woods jokes recently? Post them in comments (nevertheless please only the clean ones).

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